Who are those people you’re selling to?

If you’re in the IT business, in particular, that’s an important question.

Most marketers are keen to profile their prospects. For some products and services, these may be ‘people with a large lawn’, ‘married couples over retirement age’ or ‘students living away from home’.

What about your targets? Perhaps ‘businesses running Microsoft Exchange’, ‘people running an e-commerce Web site that require more advanced visitor analysis’ or ‘telcos offering an increasing diversity of services’. In each case, you almost certainly have more than one type of person to talk to within your target groups – the techies and the business people. Those who bite first, and those who control the budget!

Be careful to say the right things to the right people

Whoever you’re talking to, they need to be excited by your copy – as someone in the advertising business once said, said ‘no-one was ever bored into buying anything’. And different people are respond to different things. Broadly, you should talk technology and technology benefits to technical people, and business benefits to the budget holders.

Look at it this way

You need to really put yourself in their shoes and understand what matters to them. As a contact of mine would say – where’s the pain? What are the pressures on the enterprise, department or even the marketplace as a whole?

Can you present a persuasive Return On Investment? Can you show how your product or service removes the pain?

It’s all about identifying with your audience.

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A version of this piece appeared on Ecademy today.

‘Nobody ever bored anyone into buying anything”

Umm. Like many writers, I’ve been carrying around a quote in my mental baggage for countless years.

It goes something like ‘Nobody ever bored anyone into buying anything”, and I have it stuck in my mind that I should attribute it to David Ogilvy. So I’ve been Googling for the right wording, and to check if David Ogilvy was the originator.

No dice.

It doesn’t really matter for the piece I’m writing this evening, but it’s a bit sad to have one of your basic writer’s truisms at least a little wounded by hard evidence.

Can anyone help?

Plastic bags don’t improve the customer experience

I’m a bit fanatical about coffee and tea.

Along with a couple of friends and acquaintances, I’m forever on the trail of the perfect dense, syrupy, short expresso. That’s cool. Coffee is a brilliant part of Lifestyle with a capital ‘L’.

My tea fixation places me somewhere amongst those who choose to fart in enclosed public spaces. You see, I insist on having leaf tea. Now, that just isn’t cool.

Have you tried to buy leaf tea in a supermarket? There’s about a shelf and a half at floor level, if you’re lucky – and you know the significance of the positioning? Yep. If it ain’t at eye level, the product is marginal, at best.

None of the supermarkets are stocking my favourite Ridgways Organic tea any more – except in those dreadful teabag things that make the brew taste like cardboard. The range (I shan’t honour the supermarkets with the word ‘choice’), in most places, is PG Tips, supermarket own brand and Twinings.

And now Twinings are losing the plot. Not only are they getting Stephen Fry to pitch us the benefits of Builders’ Tea Teabags (or whatever it’s called) on TV, but along with the box redesign, the loose tea is now in a plastic inner bag, not the metallised (or was it waxed?) one they had previously. Whatever it was, it jarred.

This may be akin to the wine buff’s revulsion at plastic corks and screw tops, but I’m left feeling that the experience of getting some nice tea has been devalued. And, to give this piece a proper marketing focus, I think Twinings are probably misunderstanding the people who buy their leaf tea.

People who care enough to mess about with with leaf tea almost certainly need to be engaged with, flattered, understood. Or we will go off and find a specialist outlet that sells loose tea.

End of market?

Get real!

Those nice people at MSN sent me an e-mail today, asking me for my opinions on their service.

Normally, I like giving companies feedback. After all, it is a way of getting what I want from them.

What sank this one? ‘This questionnaire should take no more than 18 minutes to fill out.’ (my emboldening).

They’ve gotta be joking!

Great beginnings

Thanks to James for these classics:

For you lovers of good writing, these are the 10 winners of this year’s
Bulwer-Lytton contest –AKA Dark and Stormy Night Contest — run by the
English Dept. of San Jose State University, wherein one writes only the
first line of a bad novel.

10) “As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind
in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.”

9) “Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens.”
8) “With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned,
unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue
eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for
competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied
description.”

7) “Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept
along the East wall: ‘Andre creep… Andre creep… Andre creep.’”

6) “Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was
about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to
become the woman he loved.”

5) “Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from
eeking out a living at a local pet store.”

4) “Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins
often do.”

3) “Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the
corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.”

2) “Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn’t know the meaning of
the word ‘fear’; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in
the eye of death — in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies.”

AND THE WINNER IS…..

1) “The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the
greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window,
revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in
frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her,
disbelieving the magnitude of the frog’s deception, screaming madly, ‘You
lied!”