I’m sitting here looking at some client copy. It grates. It grates a lot.
The reason? It uses a kind of overblown, wordy marketing speak which gets in the way. It’s using language like this:
…using the built-in chocolate-making capabilities included with every mega purple widgit
Do you really need the word ‘capabilities’? Try reading it without:
…using the built-in chocolate-making included with every mega purple widgit
I think it’s better without. It also punctures the corporate grandiosity that lurks heavily in the background of such a writing style.
If you’re bothered by seeing ‘chocolate-making’ as a verb, how about this?:
…using the built-in chocolate maker included with every mega purple widgit
Be concise, simple and clear. Your customers will reward you for it.
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Simple, concise language makes copy sooooo much pleasanter to read. It’s so essential to cut through the meaningless organizational jargon. Words/phrases I hope to never see again “leading edge solutions”, “best of breed”, “push the envelope” (that’s an act of rebellion if I ever saw one..) and “core competencies.”
Nice post!
Cheers,
Charlotte
Glad to see others encouraging the world to be simple and clear. http://alignment.wordpress.com/2009/03/16/simple-and-clear/